PRIMARILY LEARNED.

As a child who grew up living more than half her life without her parents around, I milked the situation as much as I could to receive sympathy and compassion from others although in reality living without them was not terrible. My victim mentality made me view my life in the most negative way possible just so that I was able to put myself in the position of a victim, a victim who would receive momentary pleasure from the sympathy and compassion received by others.

The victim mentality allowed me to not take any responsibility of my life, I could get bad marks, become a hobo, and in turn just blame my parents for not being there for me or guiding me. I never made my own decisions and even when eating out I would MAKE others choose for me. That momentary pleasure, which I thrived upon, caused me to live my life unnecessarily depressed and made me want to die every time I woke up.

For 6 years I convinced that I was depressed and lived my life in a depressed manner, making myself a victim of the world. Till one day I came to the realization that the sky is breathtaking. I think it’s important to stop, slow down, and really, I mean really look at the world you live in. Look at the sky, look at the colours, feel the wind, and really just stop and experience and marvel. Just marvel.

A lot of the times we blow things out of proportions and because of some reason or another we convince ourselves that our lives are hell. We live our whole lives looking downwards. It’s easier to live looking downwards. We shrink the world down to just one patch of darkness rather than seeing the whole thing. And we miss out. We force ourselves to miss out.

Now I know that I myself, enjoy making myself a victim, I enjoy the sense of superiority that I have it the worse, my life is the worst. I can persuade myself into thinking that no, my life is miserable and its not self inflicted, life really just sucks. But I can also finally, finally appreciate it for what it really is, and that it’s great.

So if you’re even doubting just a little bit that your pain is self inflicted think about these questions:

  • Is this situation really as bad as I’m making it?
  • Is there actually a way to solve my problems?
  • What is causing me to be negative?
  • Is there another way of looking at this situation?

And really just stop and appreciate. Don’t choose to focus your energy on that one patch, but look up and marvel.

Naturally, if you have any experience yourself or your own situations please comment!


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